I have been thinking a lot about forgiveness lately. I never really had too much of a problem in that area, except with a few specific people who had inflicted a load of hurt in my life. But I learned the hard way that un-forgiveness is like a cancer it spreads, or like a poison, affecting the other “good” relationships in my life. My problem was that I didn’t fully understand forgiveness. I, like most people, thought of it as an emotion or a feeling. I had the idea that someone had to say they were sorry and repent for their actions before I could ever forgive. I thought if I forgave the behavior before they apologized, it would give them permission to continue, or validate their behavior. Thank God, I did learn, mostly through His word and good Christian counsel, that forgiveness is a CHOICE. Basically, I had been REFUSING to forgive! Satan uses this to give us a “victim mentality” once we have that, we start keeping track of every wrong, perceived or real. We start rehearsing every incident mentally and verbally. Soon all we can do is spout that poison out to anyone who will listen, and it works it’s destruction.
Looking at God and His forgiveness of me helped me to forgive. I had been forgiven much. Then thinking of Jesus on the cross saying, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” if Jesus could say of the men who purposely hammered those nails, or the Sanhedrin who purposely condemned him to death, or of me, who willfully sinned, sending him to the cross, BEFORE any of us had repented, then I couldn’t justify my withholding my forgiveness. My un-forgiveness turned also into bitterness, and that resulted in mental and physical problems. God can and did heal me, but what he healed was only symptoms, the real problem was my heart. When I asked God to help me get rid of the root, it was un-forgiveness, and self-pity, two equally destructive things. I got some repentance, and other’s have never admitted wronging me. I was able to CHOOSE to forgive all, and the amazing thing is after a while, my emotions caught up with that choice! Now I hardly ever think about it and I can even be around those people with no ill will. My other relationships improved, and I was able to open my heart up bigger to God and those around me. How can we give God our whole heart if it is full of cancer! He gave me the strength to do it! Un-forgiveness is an ugly thing. It will destroy your marriage, your family, your church and even your health, if you let it. Choose to forgive today!

Wisdom of forgiveness~
Matt 6:14-15 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. NIV
Matt 18:21-22 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.NIV
Luke 6:37 “Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.NIV
2 Cor 2:1010 If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven — if there was anything to forgive — I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, NIV
Col 3:12-14 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. NIV
“When I become bitter or unforgiving toward others, I’m assuming that the sins of others are more serious than my sins against God. The cross transforms my perspective. Through the cross I realize that no sin committed against me will ever be as serious as the innumerable sins I’ve committed against God. When we understand how much God has forgiven us, it’s not difficult to forgive others. Because we are the most forgiven people in the world, we should be the most forgiving people in the world”. C.J. Mahaney
“Forgiveness is giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me”. Author Unknown
“You are nothing better than deceitful hypocrites if you harbor in your minds a single unforgiving thought. There are some sins which may be in the heart, and yet you may be saved. But you cannot be saved unless you are forgiving. If we do not choose to forgive, we choose to be damned”. C.H. Spurgeon
“Un-forgiveness is the poison we drink, hoping others will die”. Author Unknown